The percentage of single black women in their thirties or close seems to be an ever-growing number. Yes, many of them decided to focus on their careers, travel and personal growth before pursuing serious relationships. True, it’s a new day and age coupling up may not be everyone’s cup of tea. Domestication most certainly can have it’s drawbacks. Yet there’s a sea of single women out there still searching for Mr. Right, but are they going about it the wrong way?
As we get older, it’s no secret that we become a little less flexible with what we’re looking for in a partner. I remember having serious discussions with my friends — fueled by alcohol — at a kick back at my uncles house, analyzing the good and the bad of each romantic prospect. What does he/she do for a living? How does he/she manage themselves in a social environment? Is he/she ambitious? Does he/she have kids? Etc. The list went on and on.
People can be very shallow at times, can’t we? I definitely don’t endorse settling or dating someone just to maintain a regular plus one status. I believe in love and holding out for what’s right for you. But some of our standards have become so rigid and seemingly non-negotiable, it’s no wonder anyone is shacking up or getting married anymore. As cliche as this may sound, love is often found in the most peculiar or unsuspecting circumstances. Meeting your perfect match through friends or at your local club or function is highly unlikely.
It’s time to let your guard down, ladies and fellas. What have you got to lose? Here’s a few things I would suggest scratching off your deal-breaker list:
Proximity: Don’t write a guy/girl off if he/she lives outside of the city. I’ve had friends and myself pass over someone for living as “far” as 30mins to an hour away. Sorry people, but who’s to say your perfect match is sitting in a bar or club in Your town or Neighborhood waiting for you to arrive? Stop that.
Weird name: This is perhaps the most petty excuse I’ve heard. “He/she has a weird name.” Surely we can get over this, non sense? Unless it’s something like Bonequisha or Bartholomew. Can you imagine screaming that out during sex?
Too eager: If he/she messaged you more than once on an online dating site, don’t take this as a bad sign. It means their interested! Damn, give the guy or girl a chance. Their not thirsty or extra'd out they are just trying to show you their interested.
Too short or Too tall: I can appreciate physical attraction is either there or it’s not. But don’t penalize a guy or girl because he/she does or doesn’t tower over you in 5 inch heels. Maybe that could be the love of your life. They’re better things to worry about.
He has no sense of style (This is for the ladies): This, ladies, we can change. I haven’t met a guy yet who wasn’t open to a little tweaking in the wardrobe department.
He doesn’t make enough dough (Another one for the ladies): It’s 2013! Most of the women I know are breadwinners in their households or relationships, and this is not uncommon. It's hard out there for black men to make a good living considering most careers are geared towards women. Love doesn’t have a price tag. Unless he’s living in his parents basement, which is a definite no-go. Unless his parents live in the Hollywood Hills, than yes, we can overlook this.
I challenge all the single people out there this weekend to be OPEN. If a guy asks you out, ladies! say yes, regardless if he lights you on fire at first glance. If she approaches you at the bar, guys! politely engage in conversation. If he/she stares at you from across the room, flash him/her a smile. You Never Know.
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