Men Exaggerate, But Women Straight Lie

Now of course, most women feel that men lie way more than they do and about more serious issues; but, women can be just as dishonest as men and they might just be better at it. Their reasons for lying are probably the same reasons men have for lying: to spare feelings. But whether they tell little white lies or big ones to save their behinds, they all lie just the same. Here are what I believe to be the most common lies women tell. 

1. “HE’S JUST A FRIEND”

There is nothing wrong with having platonic friends and I don’t think men and women should get rid of their friends of the opposite sex just because they’re in a new relationship. But some women keep that “friend” around just in case things don’t work out with their current boyfriend. You know, the one who they are attracted to just enough to consider sleeping with who would make a good boyfriend, but for some reason they’ve put him in the temporary friend zone. They know that he’s feeling her, so she’ll entertain him while still keeping him at arm’s length. Meanwhile, the boyfriend suspects something else is going on, but she insist that he’s “just a friend” and has no interest in them.  Just lying…

2. HOW MANY MEN SHE’S SLEPT WITH

Just like females know men will lie about how many partners they’ve had, so will a woman. However, men tend to make the number higher while women tend to cut that number in half, if not more. Let a man tell it, if a woman says she’s slept with 3 men, that really means, like…10. If she refuses to tell you it’s because her number is astronomical and she doesn’t want you to think she’s a slore (a Slutty Whore..keep up!) or because no matter what number she gives you, she knows it’ll be too high for you so why bother? I don’t think men and women should even bother asking the other how many partners they’ve had before them since it doesn’t really matter. But if a man insists, a woman may have a standard answer ready just to appease him. The rule of thumb most women use? How many relationships she’s been in, not how many men she’s actually slept with. This way, it doesn’t look “bad” in the man’s eye. My rule? If you don’t want to know FOR REAL, don’t ask. "Don't ask, Don't tell"

3. THE LAST TIME SHE HAD SEX

This is another one women tend to lie recklessly about. If she hasn’t been in a serious relationship in a long time, but had a “creep session” or “friends with benefits” situation going on before she met you, chances are she doesn’t want you to know she’s been getting’ it in during the “in between” period. So when a man asks, “When was the last time you had sex,” the text-book answer – depending on when her last real relationship ended – is usually six months to a year. After all, unless she wants you to think she’s Patty Prude, it’s realistic to think that she’s had some action (I think women still fuck their so called friends until she gets serious with the new guy) – you know, being a hot-blooded woman with needs and all. But she also wants you to think that she doesn’t give it up to just anybody, so six months to a year seems like a reasonable amount of time to be in a “drought.” Whether he actually believes her or not doesn’t matter. Again, this is another one of those questions that is pointless to me, since the truth won't come out anyway. Just go get tested together before you have sex so that nothing that happened beforehand even matters.

4. THE BEST SEX SHE’S EVER HAD

Again, I don’t know why men ask this question, but a lot of them want to stroke their ego by asking their girl if he was the best she’s ever had. And women, being the nurturers that they are, will lie and say, “You, big daddy!” knowing deep down they can’t tell him that it was actually they secret nigga that not even their girls know about who broke their back all kinds of ways from Sunday. It just doesn’t sound right to say, “Well, Ole boy actually twisted me out REAL GOOD!” Women love their men…and they want to avoid any embarrassing conversations. Some women actually believe this lie because the love between you and your boo is actually what makes the sex great and more meaningful, not his “technique.” For some women living in the clouds, it’s usually not until they break up with him that they realize that he was a jerk and the sex was wack!

5. HER WEIGHT

Men will lie about their height, and women will lie about their weight – and that’s assuming she even answers the question. I don’t know too many men who go around asking their woman how much she weighs, because they just know better; but if for some reason he’s curious, I think women might simply “round down” the number. The only man she wants asking how much she weighs is her physician. So if that’s not you, don’t worry about it unless you’re planning to carry her over the threshold on your wedding day. Along the same lines, a man may ask a woman’s clothing size, which could also be tricky. Personally, women don't mind telling a man if he wants to shop for her, he can ask all day long – depending on his taste. But some women don’t even want a man to know what size bra she wears, so she’ll keep that to herself. But like a man lying about his height, unless you’re blind, you can tell when a woman is way off in revealing her weight as well. If she wears a size 24, no matter how tall she is, chances are she probably doesn't weigh 150 lbs. 

6. SHE LOVES SPORTS

Some women don’t know the difference between a touchdown and a free throw, but will lie and tell her man that she loves football just because she knows he does. If torturing herself by watching football all day on Sunday is the only way she can spend time with him, she’ll do it – even though she has no idea what the hell is going on. Talk about sacrificing for her man! Some men also find women who are into sports more attractive, so a woman will pretend to be into a particular sport just to appear more “cool.” As a man who does love sports, I encourage all women to either commit to learning sports completely if she’s going to continue with the lie. Or shoot, leave him alone when the game is on and go do her own thing, because eventually he’ll know that she’s not really into it and only pretending because of him…which is lame.

7. HOW MUCH MONEY SHE SPENDS

If a couple shares household expenses or has a joint bank account, a woman might keep a secret stash somewhere so that she can enjoy her own little “luxuries” from time to time. So when she brings home a few bags from the mall and her man asks her what she’s been up to, she’ll automatically blurt out,“Oh, these were on sale,” even though she set the mall on fire and spent a small fortune when she knows they’re supposed to be sticking to a budget. I’m sure men burn holes in their pockets too, but for some reason, a woman will try to justify her spending and come across as more “financially savvy” or frugal than he is by saying things like, “I had a coupon” or that it was “discounted.” My guess is that women who lie about how much money they spend do so because they’re spending his money. Otherwise, unless there’s a specific goal that you both are trying to achieve financially and your responsibilities are taken care of and you’re saving, splurging every once in a while with your own money should be no big deal.

8. CHEATING

This is something that both sexes lie about, so I couldn’t leave this off the list. Even though men and women might cheat for different reasons, no one wants to readily admit to it, whether they’re confronted or not. I think women might be better at cheating than men are, which is nothing to really brag about; and they also tend to get away with it more because most men could never imagine their woman dipping out on them. But in the event that a man does ask his woman if she’s cheating, I don’t see too many women admitting to it unless they want the relationship to be over and put out of their misery. But like most men who lie about cheating, women lie to spare their partner’s feelings – and to save her own Ass, especially if she’s dependent on him. My only advice is this: if you don’t want to lie about cheating on your man, don’t cheat. Simple, right?

9. PATERNITY

As heard on Maury, “You are NOT the father!” I know…this is sad, but you’d be surprised how many women out there lie about who the father of their children. I won’t say that this is a COMMON lie, as I would hope that paternity is something that most women take seriously. But if a woman’s been living foul and wants someone to take responsibility for her child and throw her a few dollars in child support, there’s no telling what lies will come out of desperation or fear. Hopefully, a man will be smart enough to request a paternity test (or purchase one from the local CVS) if he’s the least bit unsure; but, you’d also be surprised how many gullible men are not only willing, but eager, to be a father. If she knows this, her lie will go off without a hitch, even if the baby looks like the milkman. After all, you know what they say, “Mama’s baby, daddy’s  MAYBE.”

"Things men lie about" will be the next Article.. Thanks for reading another Cool Chronicles Article!