Can I make love to your mind: Part 2

For good sex, mental stimulation is a bigger factor than physical stimulation. This applies to men, but for women this is even more important. You should know enough about the female anatomy to understand how to physically stimulate her, but if you don't know how to mentally stimulate her she will feel like she is being worked on by her gynecologist. From a physical standpoint a rabbit vibrator is capable of doing most of what a man can and then some. 

However, any woman who has experienced good sex is going to know that doing this herself is not a substitute. The reason for this is that it isn't capable of stimulating her mentally. Similarly, a guy is capable of using his hand and lube. From a physical standpoint this combination can bring you very close to sex, However, it will not compare to the real thing.

With that out of the way, I will now focus on mental stimulation. Her mental stimulation will be largely based upon how she views you, so I will lay out what I consider optimal for framing yourself and why.

Women are as sexual as we (men) are if not more so. However, there tends to be a social stigma attached to girls being openly sexual. The more openly sexual a woman is or the more partners she has been with tends to imply that she is slutty. An argument could be made based upon our reproductive capabilities that this is reasonable, but with the level of contraception available in today's society this ideology is very outdated. Every woman I have ever encountered has some kind of fantasy (or fantasies) bottled up inside her and is a freak in some way. There are social reprecussions for her revealing these ideas, so there are two factors she needs to recognize before she will open up to you.

1) She needs to know that you will not judge her negatively for it. When you discuss fantasies with the girl, you should be prepared to be open to ANYTHING she throws at you. If it crosses a boundary you aren't comfortable with then you aren't required to follow through on it, but at the very least you should demonstrate that you are okay with her sharing these things with you.

2) She needs to be able to trust you not to tell everyone about it. In other words, DO NOT TELL HER SECRETS PEOPLE WHO SHE MIGHT INTERACT WITH. The more she trusts you with this the more willing she will be to share with you. Contrastingly, if she thinks that you will run your mouth to everyone she knows that she fucked you last night then your chances of it happening again will decrease dramatically. Having the ability to be sexually open is a great form of expression for a woman. Being viewed as a slut in her daily life is not. KEEP IT TO YOURSELF, AND IF YOU HAVE TO SHARE WITH SOMEONE THEN PICK SOMEONE THAT SHE WILL "NEVER" MEET.

If she believes that you meet these two requirements she will LOVE to share fantasies and sexuality with you. Almost every girl on the planet wants to be thrown down, have her hair pulled, her neck bitten, or other basic aspects of rough sex performed on her. Beyond this, you will find that most girls are interested in something kinkier. Restaints (handcuffs, pinning her down, tying her up, gags, etc.), blindfolds, spanking, dirty talk, choking, assfucking, voyeur, exhibitionism, threesomes... these are all very common fantasies and if she is willing to share them with you then she is probably willing to try them with you.

Foreplay: A lot of macho guys will say that foreplay is gay. Having sex with girls is literally the polar opposite of gay. I do not have a problem with anything gay, but I do have a problem with this mentality. If you keep this mentality you will spend most of your time having sex by yourself.

Foreplay starts long before you ever hit the bedroom. You can arouse the girl through mere conversation, through your touch, through dancing with her, through how she views you... literally every form of interaction you have that impacts her is a part of foreplay to some extent. You need to use every action you have to frame yourself properly to her. The two factors I mentioned in the previous section should set a good framework for sexual discussion and arousing conversation. You should touch her at all highs in the conversation so that she begins to associate your touch with the high sensation. When you dance with her you should be leading her to demonstrate your dominance. If she is facing you then turn her around so she faces away (or vice versa). If you are going to touch her then do it like a man. Do not gently put your hand on her like you are scared she might slap you - this is worse than not touching her at all. The way you frame yourself in normal interaction will be the basis for your framework in the bedroom.

You should be the alpha male. Think of every interaction as a dance and know YOU ARE EXPECTED TO LEAD. If you walk up to someone and shyly and awkwardly say hi they will react awkwardly back to you. Contrastingly, if you approach someone enthusastically and fearlessly they will react enthusiastically and acceptingly. This applies to your interactions with both men and women. If the girl you are talking to mentions sex and you react as if you consider it to be taboo then you will avoid the subject all together. If she mentions it and you reply with enthusiasm and interest she will be happy to expand on the subject.

There are dozens of subtopics within this post that I could talk about for hours, and in the future I will try to do so. This should be enough to get conversation going for now though.