So you think you’re ready, and decide to have sex with him. Things progress along nicely, and you feel like you’re in the kind of relationship that others are jealous of.
But, soon you start to realize that you’re doing more for him than he’s doing for you. He no longer puts nearly as much effort into planning dates and activities. And, his calls have slowly but surely evaporated.
You find yourself feeling upset, angry, confused, nervous… but you still love him.
So you start to do a few of the classic things women do to try and get a man’s attention.
1. The silent treatment
2. Asking 100 questions about what went wrong
3. Talking down to him and insulting him because he’s not living up to your expectations
Well, now you’re probably wondering, what is turning men off. What am I missing? It’s no secret but these things are important to know.
1. The Silent Treatment
Most women have a tendency to use "Silent" treatment when they are hurt or angry about a certain behavior in their guy. They put on a cold front and refuse to reply in a normal manner. The usual reply to all the queries that a guy puts through would be a "Nothing". This is highly irritating to men and in many cases it makes them want to just not bother with the female period. A man would be much happier if his woman is willing to talk out the issues instead of starting a cold war.
Truth is, if you are not talking to your man, most likely another woman is, either on social media, at the office, or in the neighborhood. So cut the unprofitable act and work things out promptly unless you are willing to lose your guy.
2. The Pop Quiz, Midterm, And Final Exam
A million questions race through your head when you’re getting to know a man. Everything from his favorite food and what kind of underwear is he wearing to what your babies will look like. But there is a time and a place for questions. At times they can be fun, and interesting, and other times can be the source of great discomfort. So take things gradually, and listen. You can learn a lot about him just in the course of a conversation without turning everything into a question.
3. Being the relationship police
Men generally like to know as much as possible and would often even want a manual with directions on how to please their woman's expectations. However no man enjoys being told what to do at every corner of their relationship. If you start treating him like a child and ordering him around, he will never be the man you want!
4. Always being right (even when you’re wrong)
It's a no brainer women are not always right. And relationships are not supposed to be one sided. If you’ve ever watched a movie, read a book, or watched tv, there tends to be a recurring theme. Men often preach how women are always right, and the sooner we understand this the better off things will be.
This is absolutely wrong and isn’t good for anyone in my opinion. If you’re always right, you’ll never have the opportunity to be with the strong confident person of your dreams. Why? Because in the case of a man we will either turn into a crutch and allow it to avoid confrontation, or leave. Don’t be afraid to stand up for what you want ladies, but at the same time, don’t turn things into a battle just to prove you’re right.
5. A Nagging Attitude
There is something about men that gets women to nag them especially as the relationship ages. Most men complain about the hard time they have contending with the continuous complaints and scorns that their female dishes out in the name of 'self improvement'.
Women on the other hand have no clue what the fuss is all about, after all they are only trying to 'improve' their man. But men want to gradually improve themselves rather then be forced or constantly told they need to change!
For most men, it is better to live under a leaking roof than with a nagging woman.
6. Letting yourself go (impressing only to gain the relationship)
This ties into poor body image and laziness. Many if not most people feel the work goes into getting a mate, not keeping one. This is why research shows that single people tend to often have better bodies. The view going in shouldn’t be to impress him as much as possible in the beginning.
Instead, he should get a good look, but you should keep looking better the longer he is with you. Now age of course changes everyone, and we’re not talking about perfection. But generally speaking you should look great when you first meet him, and 10 years later when you wake up and kiss him good morning. Every man including myself would love that!
7. Not being interesting, while expecting him to be witty and entertaining
Surprisingly many men report this as being a big issue. It’s well known that most women enjoy a man who’s confident, witty, intelligent, good conversationalist, and is someone who can make her laugh while showing her a good time. But many women don’t measure up to this. You don’t have to be your man’s equal in every way, but there should generally be some kind of balance.
Men enjoy women who are fun to be with and who lift their spirits. It’s no fun entertaining someone who’s always looking to see what you’ll do next and doesn’t give back. Why would a man want to spend his time and money on someone who isn't fun, and is spontaneous and adventurous as he is, as men we don't always like to take the lead!
Now the trend is generally for men to initiate things when it comes to dating. But once you start going out and you get to know each other, you both should feel free to initiate.
Generally speaking, men are expecting women to initiate just as much once you’re in a relationship. After-all, isn’t that what being in an equal relationship is about? Sure, every man is different, but always waiting for him to initiate is definitely not a good thing.
8. Women who are TOO strong
Don’t let the myth fool you ladies. Men are not scared of a strong women. Men stay away from women who are overly confident in how strong they are, more so thinking she's the man in the relationship! However, men like a strong woman, but at times would like her to be soft. There's a key balance.
A woman who is strong willed, always right, and is always telling others what to do, isn’t going to attract a good man, but rather she will attract a weak man who doesn't satisfy her. A woman who stands up for what she wants, as well as being able to compromise, and who doesn’t let others walk all over her, but can also be encouraging and lift people up, "IS" someone men will find attractive. The same balance that you look for in a good man, is the same balance you need to be a good woman.
9. Too "Career" Oriented
There are many relationships that have gone into ruins because of the corporate culture of today's age. It's quite common for both the man and his girl to be employed in most relationships, and this gives rise to many ego clashes and misunderstandings when the man finds his girl becoming too "Career-Centric" to care for her relationship. Men have traditionally loved the feminine characteristics in a woman and being a nurturer is one of them, even though she has a job. An overly Career-Centric woman is usually a turn off for the man.
Today, men appreciate career women, because. She's driven and is getting her own money, but not at the expense of their femininity's. Anything that makes a man feel like he is not in-charge will put him off. It is in the nature of man to be on top of things.
As a lady, learn these facts and make yourself someone your man wants to run to. If you find an even balance, you will be the center of his desire and he will ever more celebrate and appreciate you for it.
10. A lazy "Home Maker"
Men have been brought up to look at their woman as their home maker. There's nothing chauvinistic about it because that was the natural order of things for a long time and it's deeply embedded in male conditioning, just as much as women feel its a mans job to provide for his children and wife. So men love women who are good home makers and are turned off by a woman who expects the man to cook and clean. This may sound harsh to many feminists but this is what men feel inherently. Their mothers cooked and their fathers mentally, emotionally and physically took care of their mother!
Men are naturally quite bad at 'home' management and so they rely on women to play this part in their life. If and when he gets up to cook or clean, let it be under necessary conditions not because the woman is too lazy to do it and he has to fix it himself.
11. Making a huge change when you feel the relationship has solidified
Men enjoyed the fun person you were when you first meet. They fell in love with that you, so when you change it raises a red flag and makes them want to exit stage left. Yes, relationships grow and mature, but this is supposed to be a gradual process. When you start making huge changes to the nature of the relationship, men want out.
This is actually the same idea behind the myth of men being scared of commitment. It’s not that men are scared or don’t want these things, but when women come on too strong men feel used and forced. They begin to feel like you just want a relationship, and aren’t really in a relationship with them. The same holds true for marriage. When things progress along smoothly, men love it and have no objections. When you immediately fast forward a relationship, men pull back and feel that you may not be right for him.
12. Being just “One Of The Guys”
This is great if you just want to be friends and learn more about what men like. But it’s usually a sure fire way to ensure you won’t get asked out by them. If you always present yourself as just one of the homies, then you immediately appear as a friend. Men are attracted to women for their feminine qualities, and women to men for masculine qualities.
By becoming too much of a homie you limit yourself and men won’t see you as someone they want to be with. Now you don’t need to be a girlie girl. But your appearance should tell the world that you’re an attractive, sexy woman. This can be done in many ways, so don’t try to become something you’re not.
13. Being A Cold Fish In The Bed
Some women are completely unresponsive in the bed. A guy is bound to feel turned off and frustrated when he finds that he's the only moving object in bed. Sex is supposed to be playful and fun, entailing a lot of movements and noises. The more energetic it is, the more fun and pleasurable.
Women who are inhibited and shy about their sexuality, acting like a cold fish in bed are simply tempting their men to cheat. Most men take it as a personal insult to their sexual prowess when they are the only one moving in bed.
The problem is after some time, the man will stop being active as well, and your sexual relationship will be morbid; dead. That will be the ascendance of problems. So throw the lazy and the shyness away and get happy.
14. Being Overly Possessive
Men are usually the "Chasers" and they like to stay that way. If a man stops chasing you, you lost him somewhere. Instead of starting to chase him, just do certain things that catch his attention and then leave it to him to do the chasing.
It won't just help matters in your relationship to be so possessive that it makes your man feel as if he can't call his mother in the same room as you. In fact, being possessive doesn't make him love you. It turns him off.
15. Too Fanatical
Some women tend to get overly fanatical about church, a TV show, gossip cliques, or a certain hobby to the extent of losing proper balance and making their man feel like a distant thought.
Truth is men like to feel like kings and no other thing should be seen to take that away from them. The up side of it is that when you make your man feel like a king, he will treat you like a queen. Whenever you make a man feel that he is the last on your list of priorities, he will probably pay you back with interest.
This happens to be a common turn off for men.
16. Overlooking Our Quiet Acts of Thoughtfulness
We know it’s disappointing that we men aren’t great at expressing ourselves verbally. (And we’re working on that.) But in the same vein, we’re disappointed that you can’t seem to acknowledge the nonverbal acts of caring that we perform. Like changing the oil in your car, for example, or staying up late to make sure you arrived home safely from your business trip.
Chivalry also falls into this category. The art of being a gentleman doesn’t have to mean the end of feminism. Paying for dinner, holding the door open, standing up when you walk into a room…these are all gestures that demonstrate our awareness of others. Our awareness of you, specifically.
While courtesy isn’t the sum total of love, it’s often how we show our feelings day to day. Women shouldn’t be so quick to rebuff that. And write it off like it is expected.. Chilvary isn't dead, good men are just tired of catering to ungrateful females!
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